Question Things

Question things.  Why?

1. You might find out that the things are not true
2. You might find out that the things are true, and you'll have more reason to believe so
3. You might find out that you are wrong, and you have some learning to do
4. You might find out that you are right, and you'll have more reason why
5. You might find that truth and untruth are just a matter of perspective 

But what about things that are just not questioned?  Unquestionable truths?

• Then even the more reason to question them.  
• If people strongly hold things to be true or untrue, these things need questioning more than ever.
• As these things obviously don't get questioned enough.

The world is not binary, everything isn't black and white, there are many shades in-between.  

Questioning paints things with shades rather than feeding the delusion of duality. 

Richard Lindesay

www.fb.com/rlindesay

How to Get Less Stressed - Part 3

In Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, we discussed that there are three signs to whether someone is stressed or not:

1. The State of their physiology
2. Their Attitude to things around them
3. The Methods they are using to deal with things

This week I am going to focus on the third aspect of stress, Method.
Think about the most stressed people you know.  When they are most stressed, what are their organisational methods like?  Are they scrambled, or well organised?

Stressed people tend to be unorganised in their approaches.  Add a little stress in to this misorganisation and it compounds.  It's easy for things to seem more stressful if everything is in a flurry, uncertain, all over the place.  It can be hard to keep track of what needs to be done.

Less stressed people tend to put methods in place so they avoid stress.  They tend to plan better, organise tasks better, and manage information better.  When situations get stressful, they then have a sensible system to turn to so they know what to do and know that they are going in the right direction.

Here's a simple Method for planning toward something you want.

1. Think of something you would like to have happen.
2. Thinking of this thing you want, ask yourself "If I were to wake up tomorrow morning and a miracle had happened and everything had worked out perfectly, how would I know?". Write it down.
3. Come back to now, and ask yourself "If I were to try to get what I want to happen and everything went shockingly bad, what went wrong?".  Write it down.
4. Now knowing the best case and worst case, ask yourself "Realistically with where I am now, taking into account the best case and the worst case, what do I need to do to get toward what I want?

This is an adaptation of the way Walt Disney would lead planning sessions, from the three points of view of Dreamer, Critic, and Realist.

I hope you enjoyed this three part series about How to Get Less Stressed.  Its the tip of the iceberg of my work in this area so keep an eye out for more coming soon.  

Until next time

Richard Lindesay

Do you use all 3 consulting mindsets?

So you're in a meeting with a client and it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. They are a very positive bunch, and meaning well. They want to really make a difference in their environment by taking on new ideas that are cutting edge, and are very sure of their approaches. Their viewpoint in such planning meetings is "let's get going, this stuff is great, the sooner the better". One employee mentions that they need to consider where they are right now and what they have, and work toward the new vision, but that doesn't fly - they want to go straight to the new. Another employee mentions that there are reasons for considering other different models because there are potential problems, but he's shot down as being negative and bringing in problems not solutions.

Or how about a slightly different scenario where there is just one person in the meeting with the new idea. But most of conversation is around what already exists in the current environment, and "if it's not broke, why fix it?", "Why not just make a few changes in what is already there, fix up any problems, and leave it at that?" Ideas of doing things in new and revolutionary ways don't fly, they just don't see the point. One guy in the corner criticises that thinking saying "We've had loads of problems doing what we've done, maybe we should consider something else?" But nothing seems to get through.

Finally, a rather more volatile situation, but in reality no more inefficient as the former two scenarios. The new idea is presented with enthusiasm, but most of the people in the meeting look like they're just waiting for their opportunity to criticise it. The presentation ends and the critique floodgate opens, loads of reasons why this isn't a good idea and it won't work. Someone pops up his head and says "Well what if we started with what we've got and worked toward that?", but they are drowned out by the strong opinions that its simply not a good idea.

I'm sure that you'll agree that all of these scenarios have their problems, and initiatives to move forward based on each would be troublesome. These scenarios are loosely based on inbalance in the viewpoints of the Disney Creativity Strategy (as introduced by Robert Dilts). The model is based on three different points of view which lead to greater creativity, and in my experience greater consulting practice. The three viewpoints are the Dreamer, the Realist, and the Critic.

The Dreamer is the kind of viewpoint that says "Look at all the wonderful things we could do, just imagine how much better things would be if we did them". They are about thinking of new things, setting new goals, making a difference. The focus is the future, and change.

The Realist looks at new ideas and thinks practically about things based on the reality of the situation. They have solutions focussed, thinking "with those goals in mind, what can we actually practically do based on what we know and how things are now".

The Critic looks at the new ideas and thinks "What could go wrong?", "What else could be done instead". They are great at finding problems with things, and the holes that could cause problems later on. And airing those thoughts and getting to the bottom of them.

I propose that all three viewpoints should be considered in consulting effort, including any kind of design, workshop, meeting, or important interaction. It gives a balanced view of what is possible, what is practical, what could go wrong, and how to mitigate risks. It sets goals, considers problems, and creates workable solutions. If all three of these viewpoints are welcomed and embraced, you'll be in much better shape to deliver something worthwhile.

So if you're in a piece of work and notice an imbalance toward one of these viewpoints, ensure that you cover the others, or bring in people who will do so with you.

Until next time

Richard Lindesay

www.richardlindesay.com

@RichardLindesay

How to Get Less Stressed - Part 2

In How to Get Less Stressed - Part 1, we discussed that there are three contributors to whether someone gets stressed or not:

1. The State of their physiology
2. Their Attitude to things around them
3. The Methods they are using to deal with things

This week I am going to focus on the second aspect of stress, Attitude.

When people are stressed, they tend to have a certain attitude about them.  Think of the most stressy person you know, and think of how they are when they are most stressed.  You'll probably agree that their attitude is rather inflexible, they are quick to jump to conclusions, and short tempered.

So we've already talked about how the opposite of stressed is relaxed, so the opposite of a stressed attitude is a relaxed attitude.  A relaxed attitude has flexibility, it is easy going, and often humourous.  I like to start with humour, as I find that in order to have a humorous attitude you need to be flexible and easy going.


Think of the last time you were in a stressful situation and ask yourself:

1. "What was humourous about that situation?"
2. "If I was someone else looking at it, how could it have been humourous?"
3. "If I was me as a child looking forward at it, what would I find humourous?"
4. "If I was me in the distant future looking back at it, what would I find humourous?"
5. "What could I do next time to make it more humourous?"

This kind of thinking is addictive, and can have a really good affect on peoples' attitude toward formerly stressful situations.  And with a more humourous attitude, you will likely positively affect others around you too.

Until next time

Richard Lindesay
www.RichardLindesay.com
www.facebook.com/rlindesay

How to Get Less Stressed - Part 1

I see stressed people.  And I'm sure you do too.  Maybe you're one of them, or maybe you're close to one, or many.

Here are three signs that someone is stressed or not:

1. The State of their physiology
2. Their Attitude to things around them
3. The Methods they are using to deal with things

This week I am going to focus on the first aspect of stress, State.

What is the opposite of stressed?  It's relaxed.  So imagine two people sitting next to each other, one of them stressed, and the other one relaxed.  Think about how they are holding themselves, the tension in their muscles, the looks on their faces.  I'm sure you'll agree that they look quite different, almost opposite.  

Here's an exercise to get yourself better at being less stressed, focussing purely on State:

1. Have a think about the last time you were stressed, put yourself in the same body posture, and notice which muscles are tensed.
2. Have a think about the last time you were really relaxed, put yourself in the same body posture, and notice the difference in muscle tension.
3. Now go back to the stressed body posture and muscle tension, but amp it up a bit by tensing your muscles even more than you usually would.
4. Now go back to the relaxed body posture and muscle tension, and release even more by relaxing your muscles even more than you usually would. 

This is a great way to train yourself to intentionally go from a stressed state to a relaxed state.  

And having practised this, next time you are stressed it will be a lot easier to quickly and intentionally go back to being relaxed.

Now check out How to Get Less Stressed - Part 2 - Attitude and humour.

Until next time

Richard Lindesay